Article @ Stylist, published 16 January 2023

Exactly 12 months ago, my boyfriend and I decided that we wanted a different lifestyle. We both have hybrid work arrangements, a dog and a penchant for outdoor activities. So what were we doing in London? Plus, as people in our 30s, we saw our friends having children and struggling to find spacious or affordable homes for their expanding households. We decided to get a step ahead and move out to Margate, on the Kentish coast.

I am a very gregarious person, and I love cooking. But all my friends have remained in London or moved elsewhere. No one lives nearly close enough to have over for an impromptu cuppa or go out for a regular Sunday brunch. So, for 2023, I set myself the task of making friends I can invite over for dinner in our new home. But while the town has become famously popular with staycation-ers and first-time buyers, meeting new people in ‘Shoreditch on Sea’ wasn’t that easy. It’s not like I could walk into the nearest cafe and order a friend along with my latte.

“We live in a society which is becoming very individualistic,” says Nick Hatter, a wellness coach and author of The Seven Questions. And while we should be combatting the notion that we can be “totally self-reliant, self-sufficient beings”, social anxiety, fear of intimacy and being unable to venture out of one’s comfort zone can be major obstacles to striking a friendship. To counteract it, one of Nick’s main tips is to “start with small talk, no heavy conversation”.

Perhaps that’s why apps have become a particularly popular method of making new friends. They offer a safe space to strike up initially simple conversations. And there’s a plethora of platforms out there, from those catering to people looking for fitness friends (such as GymBuddy) to those keen to build communities (such as Locals). Among the most popular is Bumble BFF, the platonic version of the popular online dating app.

Freelance writer and sustainability blogger Coralle Skye, 25, joined Bumble BFF in 2019 to “sort of half-heartedly [look] for friends”. But as the pandemic unfolded the app suddenly took a much bigger role. “It stopped me feeling so lonely; it was good to talk to different people.” For Skye, who lives in Hertfordshire and is self-employed, meeting new people can be “quite tricky”, but the app allowed her to engage with people very different from herself, but without the usual pressure.

Read the rest of this article in Stylist.co.uk